A Shocking Admission from a Fellow Online Travel Community Member

Several months back I stumbled across a discussion on the TravBuddy forums in which a young woman was curious if anyone had ever broken up with someone because that person didn’t understand their need to travel.

Anyone other than herself, of course.

It was an interesting topic of conversation, but now traveller… over on the Travellerspoint forums has upped the ante.

heres my problem. I have been with my girl friend since I was 18 and I am npw 24. Last january I felt like I had to go travel. I wanted to take off for at least 3 months but she didnt want to come. Has no interest at all. … I settled for a month in thailand. … its been a year now. As far as shes conserned I have fulfilled my need to travel. But for the last month its back 10 fold. It sucks. I love her and want to marry her. But I dont want to jump into all this responsobiloty and never get my dream trip.

After a bit of back-and-forth and other travelers advising him to travel and the relationship be damned, he posts this update:

she found some travel things. I was looking at. Started asking me what this was all about and how she cant go through another 5 weeks. I wanted to lie but I just suck at it. So after awhile of her pressing me I finally said im just not sure about getting married inwithin a year. Mostly because I want to see more of the world before I settle down.

Even after all of the years I have spent reading and enjoying online travel forums, this just blew me away. We are into full-blown relationship crisis mode now and this guy is sharing and seeking advice from his fellow forum members.

And, oh the advice he receives.

If she loved you, she wouldn’t want to hold you back from your dreams. I would just go. ~MicaelaFamilant

Run away before you’re cut off at the knees and she’s wearing your balls as earrings. ~CheersT

Then, even more surprisingly to me, Sander the helpful forum couples counselor comes along and offers some genuinely thoughtful advice:

It sounds like your relationship could benefit from some very long and honest conversations. I wouldn’t recommend just throwing it away – there’s a reason you’ve been together for six years, after all! – but if your first instinct is to lie to her when she discovers something which is so important to you, then you’ve both gone rather off-track somewhere. …


Travel is extremely worthwhile, and broadens the number of paths you can take in your life. Obviously, I (along with effectively everyone on a travel forum) will recommend to pursue that. But it’s not necessarily an either/or question.

Though this discussion contains nothing in the way of travel tips or information, it is a great example of the types of threads that caused me to start ThreadTripping. It has everything – drama, humor, sage wisdom, compassion, callousness – all wrapped into one conversation. And it’s probably not a conversation I would ever be able to eavesdrop on in any other setting. I can’t see traveller dropping this into a work conversation, or bringing it up at a party.

Nope, a discussion like this could only happen in an online travel forum … and that’s why I love online travel communities.

Read the thread in its entirety: why do I need to travel so bad!

Shocked that I’m quitting Facebook 26/365” by Rafiq Sarlie. CC BY-ND 2.0.


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