We’re All Going To Die! Probably While Traveling

According to extensive ThreadTripping studies, the greatest risks you encounter when flying are, in order:

  1. Death by fiery crash
  2. Death by hijacker
  3. Death by snakes
  4. Finding yourself “Lost” in purgatory -after a fiery crash (the study was performed several years ago)
  5. Death by Deep Vein Thrombosis
  6. Being the only passenger able to see a creature on the wing, tearing away at presumably important parts of the aircraft (did I mention the study is quite old – and perhaps not very scientific)
  7. Annoying seat mates
  8. Severe turbulence

Hmmm, seems like I’m forgetting one. Ah yes, skipped right over the rightful #4 on the list: Death by Contagious Disease.

In this 24-hour-news-cycle world there are no shortage of theoretical events of which you should be terrified at the very prospect. Obamacare, the taking away of our freedoms, government in general, spending money, saving money, killer asteroids, killer bees, OBAMACARE!

So, it’s surprising that we haven’t heard more about the extreme likelihood of catching the last disease you will ever catch on your next flight!!! 

What’s that? The news is out there?

Well, thank goodness we’ve been warned.

Despite the valiant effort of the “news” media to save us from ourselves, it would appear based on some of the posters in this discussion that we aren’t taking heed as seriously as we should.

I need to fly at the pointy end more often so I am exposed to fewer infected people. ~JessicaTam

To which PJMiller replies:

Overall, a relatively sound strategy but risk of infection also depends on the duration of the flight and the infectivity (how infectious) of the case.

But JessicaTam isn’t swayed:

I will continue to strive towrds the pointy end nonetheless, so at least I will be exposed to a better class of disease.

Hvr takes a somewhat more morose view of the situation:

Actually living is dangerous. So far everybody alive is guaranteed to die. Best we can hope for is to die quickly and without pain.

Me? I’m still busy removing all of the duct tape from my windows and doors that I put up on 9/11 … and duct taped over again when SARS was spreading … and again because I saw a couple of angry looking bees buzzing around outside the window one day. But the next time I do venture to the airport and onto a flight you can bet I’ll be wearing a HazMat suit and carrying a snake stick.

What about you? Do you fear catching a deathly illness on your next flight? Or do you throw caution to the wind and treat every trip as if it might very well be your last?

Image: “Swine Flu Inspection” by Kyle Simourd. CC BY 2.0.


  1. My favorite trick is wearing my tinfoil hat while watching Faux News. Serves mutiple purposes – keeps my head warm (helpful when I’m in my bunker), keeps sun out my eyes so I can draw a bead with automatic assault rifle while “hunting”, and gets me great reception listening to the instructions from the people inside my head. Of course, also keeps out the U.N. Mind Control Rays that tell me to sign up for Obamacare – I ain’t gonna subject my bodily fluids to no Socialists!

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