What’s the first thing Songdoc is going to do once he returns from his trip to New Zealand? Pen a nasty letter to the New Zealand Tourism Board – that’s what. And what exactly does he plan to complain about?

there were no dolphins in several places where they were clearly advertised; ditto—no penguins; and not one reflection in the so-called “reflecting” lake. Also … they need to move the most scenic spots closer to the highways—and not make them uphill! Add a P.S. that they need to do something about the crappy weather!

Songdoc is joking, of course. And when you combine his exceptionally dry wit with detailed descriptions of New Zealand’s seemingly endless natural wonders what you end up with is a trip report that is one of the best you will ever read. Just a few samples of what you will find when you click through to read the full report:

The only problem with starting in Queenstown is that it’s so impossibly beautiful —that every place that follows it has some seriously stiff competition to live up to. …

 

Friends who live in Queenstown drove us to Old Cromwell, which was 45 minutes— and at least 100 years away. It’s not as large or touristy as Arrowtown, but it feels more authentic, with beautifully restored old buildings from the gold rush era, and lovely lake views. …

Our directions said it would take 3:40 to drive to our next stop—Franz Josef. But that didn’t factor in photo stops—and I’m a photography nutcase. Lake Hawea—and the Lake Hawea Lookout were gorgeous. Our next stop was the Blue Pools. About a 20-minute walk from the carpark brought us to a swinging bridge and LOTS more photos. Wow. They’re not kidding about them being “blue” pools! …

Punakaiki needs a good publicist. It’s INCREDIBLE. In it’s own way it’s every bit as spectacular as the best parts of Australia’s Great Ocean Road. We figured we’d spend five minutes at the Pancake Rocks, take a few photos and leave. But as we walked the walkway every turn revealed new gasps. …

 

FYI, we timed our arrival to coincide with high tide, and that was a good move. The blowholes elicited gasps and “OH MY GOD”s from the crowds. Now, I finally understood why people drive the West Coast!!! …

We took the walkway to the fur seal viewing area. But alas, adding to the list of bitter disappointments, we didn’t see any seals. On the way back, we asked some other walkers if they had seen any seals. They responded that there at least 7 or 8—but that you had to look closely, as they blended into the rocks unless they moved. We went back to the viewing area (which now had quite other people there) and sure enough—there were the seals!!!

This is just a very small sampling of the report to give you an idea of Songdoc’s enjoyable writing style. Please, do yourself a favor and click through to read the entire report: NZ: A Series of Bitter Disappointments — a Songdoc Trip Report