Delays, lost luggage, rude gate agents … these are all legitimate and oft repeated complaints about airlines. But the following two threads, in which FlyerTalk members offer a litany of trivial – but still very real – airline complaints, are prime examples of why I started this blog.

The threads:

• What’s the stupidest, least substantive thing you can complain about?
  
• What’s the Stupidest, Least Substantive UA-Related Thing You Can Complain About?

This is the stuff of comedic genius.

Blumie deserves full credit for the concept, and leads off with a gem of a ridiculous complaint:

I find it really annoying the way the napkins are fanned before being put out at the Admirals Clubs. Is this supposed to make us feel like the place is uber-fancy? Why don’t they just forget about the fanning and put out some real napkins instead of the flimsy cocktail napkins they use?

And then along come some of the other would-be Bill Burrs and Louis CKs with some truly Vegas worthy material:

From wxguy:

The flight arrived early, so I didn’t get my money’s worth.

And from emma dog:

AA doesn’t anticipate my complaint and send me vouchers automatically… I actually have to write them.

And finally, the creme de resistance as it were, this from BarkinJ:

I’m sitting in J (upgrade cleared at 100 hrs) on flt. 19 right now (JFK-LAX), somewhere above Iowa.

I am livid (livid!) that we were served cookies-and-cream ice cream with chocolate shavings when the passed menu states clearly that we’d be receiving chocolate ice cream topped with marshmallows and chopped walnuts.

This is an affront to everything we hold sacred in a civil society. This is the last straw, and I’m moving to Canada.

Of course, these are just a few examples that tickled my funny bone. There are thousands more one liners – the American Airlines thread is currently sitting at over 2,000 posts and the United Airlines thread at over 1,000.

Go, read the threads now. It’s great stuff even if you don’t fly either airline regularly. And in the comments below please paste links to your favorite posts.