Trip to the Magic Kingdom Detours Through Hell

It goes without saying that no two trip reports are alike. But this report by jenseib is definitely unlike any other.

Like many trip report writers, jenseib shares a lot of great photos and writes about the details of her trip – the boarding of the plane, picking up the rental car, checking into the hotel, finding food and drink, etc, etc.

Unlike most other trip reports I have enjoyed over the years, she also describes in exceptional and sincerely expressed detail the myriad frustrating little things that are a natural part of traveling with your family to experience a DisneyWorld vacation.

Somehow this is a report of a trip I have never taken, yet feel like I have been on before. It’s a report about a trip I would never want to take, but at the same time I absolutely revel in every detail.

In short, it’s a must-read classic. Some excerpts:

This trip to WDW was a family trip…meaning my parents were going as well … and then my husband, Skip, decided he would like to come …

 

Plans were made and of course we had a few arguments about things…..nothing ever is smooth here.

 

First Skip was mad we were going and never told him aboput it. Well at that point it was so far off yet and I really hadn’t planned anything. I wasn’t hiding it from him, I just wasn’t talking about it in general. …

 

The thing that drives me crazy is that I am a planner and he likes to do everything last minute. So even though I knew what the plan was, he wasn’t in any hurry to book the cruise. I told him more than once about the prices rising and his reply ….”I don’t care, I want to pay full price”. LOL! …

 

He also had this “idea”….he wanted to come down to Florida on a Greyhound bus. He said he would have a years’ worth of stories to tell if he did that. It would take him about 28 hours to come by greyhound and for one who has limited time off, this was not a smart idea in my book, but he insisted this was what he wanted to do.

That is all in the first post! How great is this? I have never read a trip report that begins with such a short description of the trip, and such a long description of the spousal troubles being caused by the trip planning.

It hooks you right away, and doesn’t disappoint as you read further as jenseib and her daughter Claire make their way to the airport:

Claire and I loaded up the car and Skip drove us in and dropped us off at her house. He gave us kisses and was gone. He was on a mission to go to the store nearby that had roasted peanuts in a shell in large bags. Yeah…see how we compare? He only was willing to take us to Gail’s house so he could go stop off for shuck peanuts. LOL!

Is this DisneyWorld trip going to end in divorce? Counseling? Domestic violence? I don’t know, but I can’t stop reading now. And she hasn’t even gotten to the troubles with the parents yet. Such as the incident in the security line at the airport:

Then off to security. Claire is becoming a pro at this and it really is helpful that she at least has an idea what she is doing, though of course I still have to prompt her at times. Dad, however, will never become a pro at this, no matter how many times he goes through. Mom was specially selected to go through a special and quick line. Dad started to panic. I had to instruct him on what to do and where to go. All the while, reminding Claire what to do as well. And because I am with Claire, we go through the old scanners instead of the new ones, which Dad had to do. Too bad they wouldn’t consider him a child as well, it would’ve been easier on me

And the choice to walk instead of take the monorail to the gates:

Again, this did not fit in Dad’s plans….. Why are we walking? We are walking away from the monorail! Why are we going this way?…. You get the idea. You can only repeat “I am looking for a bathroom” so many times before you are ready to kill someone.

Followed by what will forever be known as the “French Dressing Fiasco”:

We found bathrooms and a Coney Island type place and decided this would be perfect for lunch and went inside and took a seat. …

 

I don’t remember what my parents got, but I know they both got a side salad and they didn’t have French dressing. This is another thing that sends my Dad into a tizzy. He only eats French dressing on a salad. He refuses to go to Olive Garden because of the salad…even though if you ask, they do have French dressing. Now I understand it to a degree…I am a fan of French dressing as well, but I am open to eating other kinds when need be

You can’t make this stuff up. I can almost picture jenseib furiously scribbling in her journal after each long day. And they haven’t even made it onto the plane yet.

But this is all just prelude to post #46 – the car rental and drive to the hotel. I won’t do it injustice by slicing quotes from the post. It needs to be read in full to be truly appreciated.

And at post #46 you aren’t even a quarter of the way through this incredible journey.

jenseib, if you read this, I just want to thank you for sharing your story. It made me laugh, it made me cry … and in some parts it made me a little uncomfortable.

And that’s all I could ever want from a trip report.

Read the thread in its entirety: The Tale of the Grow Walk ….Hunh?

Image: “why would we rather put ourselves through hell than sleep alone at night” by Robert Anthony Provost. CC BY 2.0.

Comments

  1. Yeah… I’m going to stereotype. I wouldn’t be surprised is the all live in a double-wide. :-0

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